Resolving Parental Conflict
What if, as a practitioner, you could help families change the way they think about and behave towards their co-parent/co-parent’s family?
The child may continue to have a loving relationship with all the people that have been in their lives as well as their relationships with new partners and their children too.
It is possible but may need a flexible and open approach of trial and error as everyone responds differently to help. This section explores some of the tools and skills that practitioners can employ when facilitating healthy conversations with couples.
Lets consider what impact interventions can have on a family. Take a look at the video below.
Communicaion is key
Focus on empathy
Sensitivity to cultural nuances, for example can help you navigate conflicts more successfully and foster better relationships. Take a look at the box below to consider your next steps.

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What tools can i use?Show detailsKey:
Visible difference and unconscious bias
Understand your biases
Unconscious bias means that we automatically respond to others based on their gender, ethnicity, disability or visible difference in positive or negative ways. This is the result of many external influences formed by our socialisation and experiences.
Learn more here
Helping couples to communicate
by RelationKit
This short video is about parents who are juggling lots of pressures at home and work, and how they could support each other differently.
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Active Listening:
Role modelling and structuring conversations will allow the couple to feel validated:Education on why it is important to give your full attention to whomever is speaking and why to avoid interruptions and refrain from formulating responses while the other person is speaking.
Make eye contact, nod, and use verbal cues to show that you are engaged.
Succinctly repeat what the other person has said to clarify their main points and maintain an empathetic response such as “You said that.. [ ]. I can see how that would be challenging for you.”
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Being Open-Minded:
Helping couples by facilitating discussions involves being non-judgemental. Remember to:Approach conversations with an open mind
Be willing to consider different perspectives and opinions
Avoid making assumptions or jumping to conclusionsPromote the same approach with the couple you are working with and encourage them to use repectful language and tone.
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Mindful Non-Verbal Communication:
Pay attention to your body language and facial expressions and ensure that your nonverbal cues align with your verbal messages.
Be aware of the other person/s nonverbal cues to understand their emotions.Keeping exchanges calm when you are working with couples will help them to think rationally about their worries and concerns. If the discussion becomes heated it might be best to take a break.
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Expression of Gratitude
Express your gratitude for their willingness to engage inan open and respectful communication. This will help to maintain respectful communications with and between the couple you are working with.Ask your couple to acknowledge and appreciate the other person’s perspective and contribution. This may involve considering a deeper understanding of their background and experiences.
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Solution based communication
Working with a couple towards finding solutions rather than dwelling on the problem may empower them to make a change to their mindset. You can do this by:Identifing common goals and shared interests to build on
Being patient and avoid rushing to conclusions
Recognising that resolution may take time and multiple conversations -
Take-away tools
Try to encourage the couple or family that you are working with to maintain a calm approach to resolution by giving them practical tools to take away. These can include:Recognising their triggers so they can take time out and avoid aggressive confrontation with their partner
Recognising why they or their partner behaves in a certain way
Deep breathing exercises or ‘time out’ activities such as walking the dog and journalling, for example. Help couiples to understanding the positivity behind mindfulness (reducing reactivity and enhancing self reflection)
Using ‘I’ Statements to encourage taking responsibility
Set communication goals to work towards, such as reducing interruptions or using more positive language and gratitude

Relationships Matter
is a partnership between 13 councils within Yorkshire and the Humber helping families who are in relationship distress.
To access more resources and tools to download visit the Relationships Matter website here or go straight to their find more support page for an extensive list of external agencies / websites.