What good engagement looks like

“Good engagement with men is intentional, consistent, and purposeful.”

Engaging men effectively is a core part of safeguarding practice, not an optional extra. It requires practitioners to actively identify, include, and work with the men in a child’s life, recognising both risk and potential strengths.

Good engagement is not about doing more, it is about being deliberate in who we engage, how we engage, and how we sustain that engagement over time.

Identifying and Mapping the Men in a Child’s Life

Good engagement starts with knowing who the men are.

Take a look at the image in this section and ask yourself,

“Have I identified all the men in this child’s life, or just the ones who are easiest to see?”

See below for Genogram / Ecomapping templates.

What do we mean by good engagement?

Good engagement goes beyond making contact.

It is about ensuring men are meaningfully included in conversations, assessments, and safeguarding plans.

This means:

Understanding their role in the child’s daily life
Recognising how they influence both safety and wellbeing
Maintaining curiosity without jumping to assumptions
Being consistent, even when engagement is challenging

Good engagement is active, intentional, and ongoing.

Principles of Good Engagement

✅ Direct, respectful, and transparent communication
✅ Clear expectations about involvement and responsibility
✅ Consistency in approach across professionals
✅ Curiosity without judgement
✅ Strength-based approach while maintaining a focus on risk
✅ Willingness to both support and challenge

What Dads and Men Need from Professionals

Men are more likely to engage when they feel recognised, respected, and included.
Show details
Key:
- 1: Direct speaking
- 3: Respect
- 2: Clarity
- 4: Advice
Dad's need:
- 1
  
  To be spoken to directly, not through others.
  
  Many men report feeling like a “secondary parent” in professional conversations, even when they play a significant role in a child’s life. When communication is directed primarily through mothers or other carers, this can reinforce disengagement and reduce accountability.
  
  Being spoken to directly shows:
  That their role is recognised
  That their involvement matters
  That they are expected to participate
  Direct engagement helps build:
  Clearer understanding
  More accurate assessments
  Greater responsibility for change
  
  Being included is not just about invitation—it is about active, direct engagement.
- 2
  
  Clarity about concerns and expectations
  
  Unclear or softened messages can create confusion and limit meaningful engagement. Men are more likely to respond positively when professionals are clear, honest, and specific about:
  What the concerns are
  Why they matter
  What needs to change
  What their role is in that change
  
  Avoiding difficult conversations may feel easier in the moment, but it can lead to:
  Misunderstanding
  Minimisation of risk
  Lack of progress
  Clear communication:
  Builds trust
  Reduces ambiguity
  Supports accountability
  
  Clarity means transparent, purposeful, and focused on the child.
- 3
  
  To be treated with respect and fairness
  
  Men are more likely to engage when they feel they are being treated fairly and without bias. Some men may come into contact with services expecting to be judged, blamed, or excluded based on previous experiences or perceptions.
  
  Respectful engagement includes:
  Listening to their perspective
  Avoiding assumptions
  Acknowledging their role in the child’s life
  
  This does not mean agreeing with everything they say, it means ensuring they are:
  Heard
  Understood
  Held to the same standards as others
  
  Respectful practice creates the conditions for engagement, but does not remove the need for challenge.
- 4
  
  Practical advice, not just assessment
  
  Men often describe involvement with services as focused on “being assessed” rather than being supported to make changes.
  
  While assessment is essential, engagement improves when professionals also:
  Offer clear, practical guidance
  Break down expectations into manageable actions
  Support understanding of what “good enough” looks like
  
  This might include:
  Explaining how to support routines or boundaries
  Giving examples of positive parenting approaches
  Providing clear next steps
  
  Engagement is strengthened when men are not just told what is wrong but shown what to do differently.

Practical Tips!

Questions to Ask Every Family
Show details

Who are the important men in this child’s life?
Who lives in the household (full or part-time)?
Who provides care, discipline, or financial support?
Are there any new or changing relationships?
How do the adults manage conflict?